I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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