He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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