He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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