walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize