I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize