I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
