Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
