dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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