Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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