Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
