Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
