the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
