The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.