Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet

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  (248) I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet http://tfl.nu/r3zv
  Replies (4) Good night (1287) Bad night (795)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.

  (360): View more from Washington

  im coming over.

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  (503): Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call. (360): im coming over. http://tfl.nu/x6qr
  Replies (8) Good night (3664) Bad night (543)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.

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  (908): there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted. http://tfl.nu/lb4w
  Replies (56) Good night (4476) Bad night (579)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.

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  (850): All of my current injuries can be related back to sex. http://tfl.nu/ncc6
  Replies (14) Good night (5286) Bad night (931)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?

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  (313): so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room? http://tfl.nu/p8ry
  Replies (6) Good night (845) Bad night (2802)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor

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  (812): For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor http://tfl.nu/nslr
  Replies (9) Good night (1884) Bad night (3203)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.

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  (647): Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday. http://tfl.nu/6zuu
  Replies (3) Good night (2037) Bad night (654)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics

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  (484): unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics http://tfl.nu/l12l
  Replies (23) Good night (905) Bad night (2456)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Those were the highlights of my night.

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  (717): Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves. (717): Those were the highlights of my night. http://tfl.nu/jaow
  Replies (8) Good night (1958) Bad night (720)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.

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  (281): To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life. http://tfl.nu/6vxl
  Replies (8) Good night (895) Bad night (497)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  It's a journey

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  And the destination is his penis?

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Precisely.

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  (907): It's a journey (1-907): And the destination is his penis? (907): Precisely. http://tfl.nu/ln5a
  Replies (2) Good night (1291) Bad night (381)
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  (949): View more from California

  I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval

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  (949): I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval http://tfl.nu/htsq
  Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (427)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere

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  (614): So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere http://tfl.nu/qzem
  Replies (1) Good night (862) Bad night (366)
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  (+65): View more from

  My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood

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  (+65): My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood http://tfl.nu/m0vo
  Replies (5) Good night (532) Bad night (247)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.

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  (989): But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal. http://tfl.nu/lvxj
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (223)

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