I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months