Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.