Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning

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  (202): the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning http://tfl.nu/vrio
  Replies (6) Good night (604) Bad night (1870) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.

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  (401): I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls. http://tfl.nu/rm2y
  Replies (35) Good night (3288) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  That was long passed due.

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  (414): I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol" (262): That was long passed due. http://tfl.nu/6bqu
  Replies (36) Good night (4979) Bad night (868)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger

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  (540): I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/crtx
  Replies (37) Good night (4237) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.

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  (703): the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week. http://tfl.nu/6di3
  Replies (17) Good night (4012) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.

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  (727): I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake. http://tfl.nu/tfkj
  Replies (12) Good night (5409) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.

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  (716): ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck. http://tfl.nu/am3q
  Replies (7) Good night (1353) Bad night (2549) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.

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  (773): I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech. http://tfl.nu/9arc
  Replies (8) Good night (4830) Bad night (1185) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?

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  (412): in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila? http://tfl.nu/e4mt
  Replies (7) Good night (3276) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?

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  (636): Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown? http://tfl.nu/ay3b
  Replies (4) Good night (1384) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that

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  (541): She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that http://tfl.nu/pcsr
  Replies (6) Good night (419) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER

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  (260): DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER http://tfl.nu/2v94
  Replies (6) Good night (588) Bad night (1323) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey

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  (774): This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey http://tfl.nu/q901
  Replies (10) Good night (1557) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.

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  (770): I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out. http://tfl.nu/df2n
  Replies (5) Good night (529) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.

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  (518): The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid. http://tfl.nu/6fga
  Replies (7) Good night (574) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt

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