Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.

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  (804): Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift. http://tfl.nu/sb1j
  Replies (17) Good night (775) Bad night (2360)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.

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  (503): I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz. http://tfl.nu/wgvl
  Replies (84) Good night (2172) Bad night (6265)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.

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  (732): the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam. http://tfl.nu/4l2e
  Replies (26) Good night (1126) Bad night (6417)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair

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  (985): And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair http://tfl.nu/0fee
  Replies (16) Good night (6406) Bad night (916)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x

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  (+44): Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x http://tfl.nu/rt6u
  Replies (10) Good night (8012) Bad night (1300)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?

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  (303): So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door? http://tfl.nu/on5x
  Replies (8) Good night (4308) Bad night (999)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?

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  (+44): Hey, did you take me to hospital last night? http://tfl.nu/iu9j
  Replies (9) Good night (1687) Bad night (2273)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  this better not be you asking for a beej

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  (303): She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner. (719): this better not be you asking for a beej http://tfl.nu/u03l
  Replies (14) Good night (1413) Bad night (2396)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.

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  (208): You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish. http://tfl.nu/85ra
  Replies (9) Good night (570) Bad night (1611)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.

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  (479): I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again. http://tfl.nu/tpxn
  Replies (3) Good night (774) Bad night (575)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg

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  (774): did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise (908): omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg http://tfl.nu/l4h8
  Replies (5) Good night (1284) Bad night (566)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?

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  (612): Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic? http://tfl.nu/ja2v
  Replies (8) Good night (1043) Bad night (286)
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  (209): View more from California

  I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat

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  (209): I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat http://tfl.nu/qvh1
  Replies (3) Good night (728) Bad night (363)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"

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  (507): I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?" http://tfl.nu/mr60
  Replies (8) Good night (617) Bad night (275)
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  (315): View more from New York

  That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.

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  (315): That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature. http://tfl.nu/jo7c
  Replies (0) Good night (296) Bad night (398)

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