Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar

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(405): I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace... (1-405): Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar http://tfl.nu/6slq

Replies (16) Good night (1925) Bad night (600)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?

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(301): Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands? http://tfl.nu/6ufe

Replies (34) Good night (2296) Bad night (3064)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.

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(225): things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control. http://tfl.nu/aw3o

Replies (36) Good night (6255) Bad night (838)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet

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(506): it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet http://tfl.nu/6nks

Replies (9) Good night (884) Bad night (4266)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl

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(402): she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl http://tfl.nu/7i4h

Replies (12) Good night (671) Bad night (3155)
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(303): View more from Colorado

You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?

(720): View more from Colorado

Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.

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(303): You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher? (720): Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced. http://tfl.nu/qahj

Replies (35) Good night (12760) Bad night (1310)
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(817): View more from Texas

At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.

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(817): At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children. http://tfl.nu/trxp

Replies (24) Good night (8021) Bad night (1150)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.

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(520): Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries. http://tfl.nu/00in

Replies (6) Good night (2637) Bad night (862)
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(415): View more from California

He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished

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(415): He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished http://tfl.nu/a96t

Replies (7) Good night (2433) Bad night (541)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react

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(484): You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react http://tfl.nu/5bkg

Replies (7) Good night (1418) Bad night (404)
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(206): View more from Washington

Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf

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(206): Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf http://tfl.nu/6f6i

Replies (4) Good night (1153) Bad night (427)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.

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(717): Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together. http://tfl.nu/4ceo

Replies (6) Good night (1400) Bad night (420)
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(+47): View more from Norway

You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me

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(+47): You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me http://tfl.nu/d4vv

Replies (5) Good night (1135) Bad night (297)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

We're showing the video later bring pizza

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(919): i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF (1-919): We're showing the video later bring pizza http://tfl.nu/1zdw

Replies (2) Good night (744) Bad night (214)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.

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(810): Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am. http://tfl.nu/2nux

Replies (2) Good night (285) Bad night (488)

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