Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
