She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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