We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
