Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
