About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
