I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
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I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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