Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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