My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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