THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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