if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize