Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
