I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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