so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
