Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
