it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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