He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
