we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
