stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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