I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
