i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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