there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
