Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
