So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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