Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
