So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
