Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm having to shit out rocks
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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