Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
