So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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