Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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