The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
