Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize