There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
