I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
