i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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