Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
