do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
