nut hugger
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
