I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
