i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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