would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
