i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
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Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
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No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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