Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
