It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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