umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
