My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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