Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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