Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize